( the benefits to all the training jason has gone through is shit still hurts, sure: but he takes it a lot better than he used to. damian lashes out and it's--it's fine. whatever. kicks land, punches hit, but jason's fucking intent on getting his arms around shoulders.
before all this, before bruce, he'd lean into them. lean into jason and grumble crap but it was never--this. )
[ Before Jason was someone who could be trusted. An ally wholly on his side, someone he could turn to. Dick, too, had the benefit of being family, unquestioned, because the source of their strife wasn't there to tear them apart. It doesn't matter who this Bruce Wayne is - if these brothers are his brothers, then that man is his father.
And he can't separate the father he knows, the one who threw him away, from the man who claim to have no blood son. ]
( nah. he's got him now, damian can struggle all he wants. he's stuck here, dealing with jason pressing his cheek down on top of his stupid hair, holding him in tight. maybe he fucking hates it, maybe jason is going about this all wrong, but--he's pretty damn good at following his instincts, and maybe they've let him down more times than he cares to admit, but it doesn't mean he's stopping any time soon. )
I love you, you little shit. And I'm not gonna let you go that easy.
[ He's still struggling. Jason's holding him close and where this would usually be comforting, reassuring, now it's only suffocating. If Jason touches skin he'll feel the full weight of what Damian is actually feeling - regret, loss, fear, loathing, confusion, loneliness, panic, and rage burning in the background, always in the background, threatening to ignite and consume all of him - no part is fine. ]
( he doesn't need skin contact to know. doesn't try for it, because nobody wants to share themselves at their weakest point. wouldn't force that on damian even if he's forcing this onto him. an arm slides under one of damian's own, wraps around his back. uses all the strength he's got to hold onto this stupid, wiggly asshole of a sibling he's gotten. )
If you really want me to leave you alone due to some preconceived idea that I'm gonna abandon you--fine. Say it to my face. Look me in the eye, and tell me you don't want jack shit to do with me. I'll go. But until then? I'm staying right here.
[ He can't break free. Jason's bigger than him and stronger than him - hitting and stomping on his feet isn't having any effect. All he's left with is lighting up, and he - he's too aware of Jason's face against the top of his head to lose control that much.
He doesn't hug back. He doesn't calm down. He just stops fighting. ]
( damian could get an advantage over him. knows every way to snap a bone, knows how to break out of holds but he's just--slamming fists and feet and gives up and jason takes that as a sign as much as anything that it's--if he wanted to break loose he'd be gone already. this isn't that. he's lashing out just to lash out.
he's sure as hell gonna feel it later: bruises where fists slammed into him, maybe a sprained toe or two. definitely worth it though. )
You're more important to me than anyone else here, alright? ( damian needs someone more than anyone else does. bruce is--god, fucked up beyond imagine. dick's a mess. but damian's the one who acts like a spark next to a haystack: one wrong breeze away from burning everything to the ground. he gets it. ) Anything else. No matter how much you're acting like a giant ass.
Kate's already on his case for not being nice enough. Kara - god, he doesn't know how to begin unpacking the disaster he's sure that's going to be. Dick sees him as a stand-in for a ten year old he could still save from becoming -- this.
No one actually likes him for him. Not as far as he can see. ]
( he could fight damian on this more. yell at him a little, fight him. because he knows he's fucking lying through his teeth, but starting shit isn't going to resolve anything. so jason lets go of him, raises his hands up instead. )
Alright. ( voice still steady, ) Then I'll steer clear, make sure you won't have to look at my ugly mug again, or see my shit on the network. Since you hate me so much, I'll stay away.
[ He skitters back several steps the second he's allowed to.
And then Jason says the words he thinks he wanted to hear, and instead of feeling satisfied, he only feels his stomach sink. His hands ball to fists, the words of a scathing remark sticking in his throat. ]
( his voice doesn't change, but jason's expression sure as hell does. eyes narrow, lips tight. )
Pushing away the people who care about you isn't going to fix anything. It won't make you feel better. Or more safe. It only gets lonelier, and darker. You're trying to avoid people fucking you over later, aren't you? Hurt them first so they can't hurt you later. But the one you're hurting most is yourself.
How can you look at me and call me your brother, tell me that it doesn't matter we're from different universes, and expect me to co-exist with him anywhere near me. After all he's done to me, to you, to the world.
Probably dead in a sewer. Maybe still boosting tires, who knows. Maybe where I ended up is shit, too. Maybe it's not much better, worse in some places, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. He gave me a family. A home. Somewhere I could go back to if I needed it.
( damian's from different--circumstances. a different place, different world. but jason's sure he at least gets this much. )
Without him I wouldn't have you. Or Dick's irritating voice yammering on about stupid bullshit I don't care about, or Tim. I idolized him as a kid, y'know. Batman and Robin swinging around Gotham, stopping whatever loser they could find that night. I wanted it so bad, and--being Robin? That was the best time of my life. Bad shit happened, but it gave me the chance to soar. If I could go back in time and get the grimey, snot-nosed brat far away from the batmobile that night? Prevent all of this? I wouldn't.
( there are so many things he should fix, but being robin wasn't one of them. meeting bruce wasn't either. damian's world is fucked to all hell and back, sure--but he's not so sure about this bruce. doesn't want to cut ties before he knows. )
Cut ties with him, if you wanna. 's your choice. Just like cutting ties with me is. Maybe he is a fucked up monster just waiting for the chance to unleash hell on this place. But nobody knows how to stop him better than we do. And I doubt you'd be able to handle it all on your own.
[ There's the fire, exploding out of him at the last word. There's a second point but Damian's stuck on the first, stuck on Bruce, stuck on how infuriating it is that he gets forgiveness and he --
This one couldn't even give it to him, even if he was different. He just gets to disappoint a third Batman by virtue of being alive. ]
He let you die and let the clown keep killing! He knew it was wrong! He knew every time he brought him back to Arkham he was just going to get out again! It's easier for him when people die and so he lets it happen! He let it happen to you, to Lois, to ALFRED!
( he's not touching damian, doesn't get singed but jason's definitely raising his voice now, ) I was stupid, I was reckless, I ran off without telling anyone where I was going, what I was doing! The only one who's at fault for what happened to me is me.
( fingers shove through his hair, gripping hard. )
Lois isn't dead, Lois is alive and raising her son. Alfred's alive. The Joker--look, you know I don't agree with him worth shit on that rule and it ain't all black and white but fuck. ( a wide, sweeping gesture to himself. ) It's alright for the Red Hood to go around killing assholes, people don't blink an eye! Think of what Gotham'd do if Bats started at it? If he was judge, jury, executioner? You think that'd fix shit? 'cause I don't! Your Bruce is shit, but there's universes out there where I'm the biggest asshole of them all and you're still here, talking to me. Dick struggles to even look at me! I'm not forgiving B for any of it. But I'm sure as hell not gonna hold shit against someone who hasn't done any of it.
He's taken more than one swing at Barry and Hal over the years for this stance. For not getting it - granted, they were trying to rile him up. Trying to distract him from the situation at hand, because the situation they were in was dire and Damian's "daddy issues" were getting in the way and they needed to deal with them.
But he can't - won't - hit Jason. Not again. No matter how much he wants to so he'll stop talking like he knows shit, about his better world where Bruce hadn't fucked it all up yet. He just gives an aggravated shout and hits the wall as hard as he can instead. ]
( damian turns around, moves to swing his arm out and jason's immediately responding. the looseness of his shoulders leaves as he turns his hip, reaches an arm out and tries to loop it in under an elbow to attempt to stop that fist from slamming into a wall. )
I get your world is shit and everything hurts but this isn't helping anyone, D!
( it slams right into his fucking face--square center for his nose and jason feels the crunch of cartilage, feels the blood gushing down his face. and man, it hurts.
enough that he does give an audible hiss and raises his free hand up to cover it. just. give him a moment. )
( nose crooked but it's not the first time. won't be the last. the blood gushing's a little more concerning considering--the rush of it. how woozy he gets for a moment but it's fine, everything's fine, and jason's wiping the back of a hand below his nose to smear the blood out of the way of his mouth.
doesn't last long considering how fast the flow is. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:28 am (UTC)before all this, before bruce, he'd lean into them. lean into jason and grumble crap but it was never--this. )
Damian.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:30 am (UTC)[ Before Jason was someone who could be trusted. An ally wholly on his side, someone he could turn to. Dick, too, had the benefit of being family, unquestioned, because the source of their strife wasn't there to tear them apart. It doesn't matter who this Bruce Wayne is - if these brothers are his brothers, then that man is his father.
And he can't separate the father he knows, the one who threw him away, from the man who claim to have no blood son. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:34 am (UTC)I love you, you little shit. And I'm not gonna let you go that easy.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:43 am (UTC)If you really want me to leave you alone due to some preconceived idea that I'm gonna abandon you--fine. Say it to my face. Look me in the eye, and tell me you don't want jack shit to do with me. I'll go. But until then? I'm staying right here.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 09:48 am (UTC)He doesn't hug back. He doesn't calm down. He just stops fighting. ]
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Date: 2019-01-13 09:55 am (UTC)he's sure as hell gonna feel it later: bruises where fists slammed into him, maybe a sprained toe or two. definitely worth it though. )
You're more important to me than anyone else here, alright? ( damian needs someone more than anyone else does. bruce is--god, fucked up beyond imagine. dick's a mess. but damian's the one who acts like a spark next to a haystack: one wrong breeze away from burning everything to the ground. he gets it. ) Anything else. No matter how much you're acting like a giant ass.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:00 am (UTC)Kate's already on his case for not being nice enough. Kara - god, he doesn't know how to begin unpacking the disaster he's sure that's going to be. Dick sees him as a stand-in for a ten year old he could still save from becoming -- this.
No one actually likes him for him. Not as far as he can see. ]
I don't want anything to do with you.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:03 am (UTC)and raises a brow. )
Wanna repeat that?
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:03 am (UTC)I said I don't want anything to do with you.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:05 am (UTC)( calmly still, hands moving to rest on damian's shoulders. )
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Date: 2019-01-13 10:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:11 am (UTC)Alright. ( voice still steady, ) Then I'll steer clear, make sure you won't have to look at my ugly mug again, or see my shit on the network. Since you hate me so much, I'll stay away.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:13 am (UTC)And then Jason says the words he thinks he wanted to hear, and instead of feeling satisfied, he only feels his stomach sink. His hands ball to fists, the words of a scathing remark sticking in his throat. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:18 am (UTC)Pushing away the people who care about you isn't going to fix anything. It won't make you feel better. Or more safe. It only gets lonelier, and darker. You're trying to avoid people fucking you over later, aren't you? Hurt them first so they can't hurt you later. But the one you're hurting most is yourself.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:23 am (UTC)How can you look at me and call me your brother, tell me that it doesn't matter we're from different universes, and expect me to co-exist with him anywhere near me. After all he's done to me, to you, to the world.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:38 am (UTC)( damian's talking still, at least. )
Probably dead in a sewer. Maybe still boosting tires, who knows. Maybe where I ended up is shit, too. Maybe it's not much better, worse in some places, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. He gave me a family. A home. Somewhere I could go back to if I needed it.
( damian's from different--circumstances. a different place, different world. but jason's sure he at least gets this much. )
Without him I wouldn't have you. Or Dick's irritating voice yammering on about stupid bullshit I don't care about, or Tim. I idolized him as a kid, y'know. Batman and Robin swinging around Gotham, stopping whatever loser they could find that night. I wanted it so bad, and--being Robin? That was the best time of my life. Bad shit happened, but it gave me the chance to soar. If I could go back in time and get the grimey, snot-nosed brat far away from the batmobile that night? Prevent all of this? I wouldn't.
( there are so many things he should fix, but being robin wasn't one of them. meeting bruce wasn't either. damian's world is fucked to all hell and back, sure--but he's not so sure about this bruce. doesn't want to cut ties before he knows. )
Cut ties with him, if you wanna. 's your choice. Just like cutting ties with me is. Maybe he is a fucked up monster just waiting for the chance to unleash hell on this place. But nobody knows how to stop him better than we do. And I doubt you'd be able to handle it all on your own.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 10:48 am (UTC)[ There's the fire, exploding out of him at the last word. There's a second point but Damian's stuck on the first, stuck on Bruce, stuck on how infuriating it is that he gets forgiveness and he --
This one couldn't even give it to him, even if he was different. He just gets to disappoint a third Batman by virtue of being alive. ]
He let you die and let the clown keep killing! He knew it was wrong! He knew every time he brought him back to Arkham he was just going to get out again! It's easier for him when people die and so he lets it happen! He let it happen to you, to Lois, to ALFRED!
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 11:03 am (UTC)( he's not touching damian, doesn't get singed but jason's definitely raising his voice now, ) I was stupid, I was reckless, I ran off without telling anyone where I was going, what I was doing! The only one who's at fault for what happened to me is me.
( fingers shove through his hair, gripping hard. )
Lois isn't dead, Lois is alive and raising her son. Alfred's alive. The Joker--look, you know I don't agree with him worth shit on that rule and it ain't all black and white but fuck. ( a wide, sweeping gesture to himself. ) It's alright for the Red Hood to go around killing assholes, people don't blink an eye! Think of what Gotham'd do if Bats started at it? If he was judge, jury, executioner? You think that'd fix shit? 'cause I don't! Your Bruce is shit, but there's universes out there where I'm the biggest asshole of them all and you're still here, talking to me. Dick struggles to even look at me! I'm not forgiving B for any of it. But I'm sure as hell not gonna hold shit against someone who hasn't done any of it.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 11:09 am (UTC)He's taken more than one swing at Barry and Hal over the years for this stance. For not getting it - granted, they were trying to rile him up. Trying to distract him from the situation at hand, because the situation they were in was dire and Damian's "daddy issues" were getting in the way and they needed to deal with them.
But he can't - won't - hit Jason. Not again. No matter how much he wants to so he'll stop talking like he knows shit, about his better world where Bruce hadn't fucked it all up yet. He just gives an aggravated shout and hits the wall as hard as he can instead. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-01-13 11:11 am (UTC)I get your world is shit and everything hurts but this isn't helping anyone, D!
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Date: 2019-01-13 11:15 am (UTC)He doesn't think, he just reacts. His other fist snaking out to slam into whatever is easiest for him to hit. ]
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Date: 2019-01-13 11:16 am (UTC)enough that he does give an audible hiss and raises his free hand up to cover it. just. give him a moment. )
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Date: 2019-01-13 11:18 am (UTC)All the fight drains from him immediately. ]
I - I...
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Date: 2019-01-13 11:23 am (UTC)doesn't last long considering how fast the flow is. )
Stop hurting yourself, idiot.
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