[ kara's quiet for a long moment, looking out over the city. she's apologized and is okay if damian doesn't accept that. (though she really would like it if he did.) there's not much else for her to say. except-- ]
You said I was "practically family." [ her voice is quieter than it was a second ago. ] I don't... I don't think you realize how much that sort of thing means to me. Even if you just meant it in a "history of working closely with each other's families" way. Even if you take it back.
[ she is so desperately lonely sometimes and damian, with his knowledge of her mother tongue and the kind way he's treated her in the past, offered her a kind of connection she hasn't had in. a long while. she doesn't want to lose that. ]
[ It still takes getting used to. Knowing of a world where not everyone knows his greatest sin, where he's still a member of the family. Where Bruce Wayne apparently gives enough of a shit about him to worry and care about him, rather than keeping aloof and cold even outside the cowl. ]
Clark raised me. [ Is what he finally breaks the silence with. ] My father blamed me for an accident and abandoned me. He told everyone who wasn't present his version of events. They believed him over me, so they dropped me too, with absolutely no question. If it weren't for Clark, I would've been alone.
[ He stops. Swallows hard. Surprised at how raw it all still feels. His skin feels hot under the thick fabric, he drops his arms, trying to ignore it. ]
The last thing I remember before arriving here was Bruce snapping my arm in two when I refused to let him take someone I care about. He had so little control over his new Justice League that one of his overeager little lackeys bombed the endangered animal sanctuary we were in. It probably killed my sister.
So don't you talk to me about my genetics or my upbringing like you understand it. You don't.
[ the more he explains, the paler and more horrified kara looks. ]
Oh, Rao. Damian, if I'd had any idea... [ she wouldn't have said anything. ] That's awful. [ and. it's familiar in a terrible way.
kara bites her lower lip and looks down at her knees. now she knows why that hurt so much. why an apology and a statement of ignorance probably won't help any. but she gives another, and a little of her own hurts to try and balance the scale a bit. ]
My mother--she was a little like that. She blamed me for my father's death and really only valued me as a tool she could use. It's not the same. I know that. But it gives me a little bit of an idea of how much that must have hurt and--god. I'm so sorry.
[ It does, obviously. Otherwise he wouldn't be so upset. He can't sit still, he just starts to pace. Shoulders hunched, jaw set. He should say that he's sorry, appreciate that moment of vulnerability and trust - but he doesn't know how to, so he just lets it slide. ]
My point is you don't know me. I shouldn't have stooped to his level, but I had it well in hand until you intervened.
What? [ she looks genuinely confused. ] Kal would never-- [ wait. alternate universe. and there was that time he threatened to strangle artemis when he was being protective of kara. so maybe he would. ]I would never do anything serious to Jason. I like him, even though he's an ass.
I don't have the strength to hurt him unintentionally. Unless you mean emotionally, but that would take a lucky shot.
[ she looks away and runs a hand over her close-cropped hair. ]
Even when I did have my strength and unintentionally hurt people, it was never more than broken bones. I've never killed anyone, [ except for lucy lane that one time, and she came back ] or done any permanent damage.
[ protesting probably won't help will it? and this is his decision. so kara just... slumps and looks away. she probably should've anticipated this, really. everyone always leaves at some point. he's just. doing it sooner than most. ]
[ He looks sharply over his shoulder, his hands clenched so hard he can feel his nails even through the material of the gloves. ]
The first chance you had, you went for something you saw as a flaw and a weakness.
[ His palms are hot. Itchy. He doesn't notice, too angry, trying too hard not to see how badly he's hurting her with his words, because he's hurt and all he's ever known to do when that happens is to lash out. ]
Because all you actually see Bruce Wayne's difficult son, and I --
[ He doesn't get much further than that, because that's about when the fire eating the palms of his gloves spreads up his arms. ]
[ well. it's a good thing she was turning towards him when she got startled because it means she stumbles onto the roof instead of off it. ]
Damian!
[ instinct has her up and rushing towards him, hands reaching to grab his-- ] Ow! [ right. no more super durability. kara ignores her palms smarting and starts talking fast. ]
I know you're pissed at me, and I'm not going to say you don't have a right to be right now, but I need you to breathe and calm down before you burn off all your clothes.
[ It takes a second to realize why he's burning. He anticipates an enemy attack, something that he didn't feel due to adrenaline, something external.
But it's not. The anger instantly changes to raw panic when she reaches for him, and he yanks his hands back, horrified as he burns her and is instantly back six years, when he was thirteen and too scared to go home without superpowers.
When he nearly killed Alfred in a fit of childish panic. ]
Don't touch me! [ She has a point, but - no, he's not going to let her burn herself. If there's one thing that's apparent, Damian Wayne sucks at hiding his feelings in a crisis. He's horrified. ]
[ she has no idea that he's worried for her. in her mind, everyone sees her as the girl of steel first and foremost. even if she's powerless, a little fire is something she's supposed to be able to handle. ]
Just breathe, Damian. In for four, hold it, out for seven. This is part of you; you can control it.
[ these are things she's had said and taught to her. lessons she never thought she'd be passing on. ]
[ It's panicked. He doesn't mean it - she's not an idiot, there's no venom there, just an impulse shouted in fear.
He takes a few steps back, tries to calm down. To remember how the hell he got a grip on his strength -- but that was different. That wasn't -- that wasn't fire. He rips off the jacket, throws it to the ground and tries to stomp out the fire.
It's not doing anything to put out the fire covering him from fingertip to forearm, but at least his clothes aren't burning anymore. ]
[ there's a moment of stunned silence but then kara jumps right back into it. ]
I'm not! I'm all the way over here. [ she takes a step back to prove her point. ] Now will you listen to me? I know a thing or two about dealing with new powers. Panicking is going to make it worse.
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Date: 2018-11-03 12:55 am (UTC)You said I was "practically family." [ her voice is quieter than it was a second ago. ] I don't... I don't think you realize how much that sort of thing means to me. Even if you just meant it in a "history of working closely with each other's families" way. Even if you take it back.
[ she is so desperately lonely sometimes and damian, with his knowledge of her mother tongue and the kind way he's treated her in the past, offered her a kind of connection she hasn't had in. a long while. she doesn't want to lose that. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 01:08 am (UTC)Clark raised me. [ Is what he finally breaks the silence with. ] My father blamed me for an accident and abandoned me. He told everyone who wasn't present his version of events. They believed him over me, so they dropped me too, with absolutely no question. If it weren't for Clark, I would've been alone.
[ He stops. Swallows hard. Surprised at how raw it all still feels. His skin feels hot under the thick fabric, he drops his arms, trying to ignore it. ]
The last thing I remember before arriving here was Bruce snapping my arm in two when I refused to let him take someone I care about. He had so little control over his new Justice League that one of his overeager little lackeys bombed the endangered animal sanctuary we were in. It probably killed my sister.
So don't you talk to me about my genetics or my upbringing like you understand it. You don't.
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Date: 2018-11-03 01:32 am (UTC)Oh, Rao. Damian, if I'd had any idea... [ she wouldn't have said anything. ] That's awful. [ and. it's familiar in a terrible way.
kara bites her lower lip and looks down at her knees. now she knows why that hurt so much. why an apology and a statement of ignorance probably won't help any. but she gives another, and a little of her own hurts to try and balance the scale a bit. ]
My mother--she was a little like that. She blamed me for my father's death and really only valued me as a tool she could use. It's not the same. I know that. But it gives me a little bit of an idea of how much that must have hurt and--god. I'm so sorry.
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Date: 2018-11-03 02:25 am (UTC)[ It does, obviously. Otherwise he wouldn't be so upset. He can't sit still, he just starts to pace. Shoulders hunched, jaw set. He should say that he's sorry, appreciate that moment of vulnerability and trust - but he doesn't know how to, so he just lets it slide. ]
My point is you don't know me. I shouldn't have stooped to his level, but I had it well in hand until you intervened.
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Date: 2018-11-03 02:28 am (UTC)[ harsh words, but her tone is just tired at this point. ]
It does matter, I do know you a little even if you don't like it, and none of us had anything well in hand. That was a complete mess on all our parts.
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Date: 2018-11-03 02:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-11-03 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-11-03 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-11-03 02:34 am (UTC)Yeah, kneeing him in the balls is a real big threat when he beat me pretty easily when we sparred.
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Date: 2018-11-03 02:35 am (UTC)I've seen what happens when Clark loses his temper in a fight. I don't want to have to clean what's left of Jason off the floor.
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Date: 2018-11-03 02:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-11-03 02:40 am (UTC)[ He has doubts. Sometimes. Little doubts. But Clark is good and he would never.
And Kal isn't the only one who has accidentally killed someone he loved in a fit of rage. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 02:45 am (UTC)[ she looks away and runs a hand over her close-cropped hair. ]
Even when I did have my strength and unintentionally hurt people, it was never more than broken bones. I've never killed anyone, [ except for lucy lane that one time, and she came back ] or done any permanent damage.
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:02 am (UTC)He doesn't immediately know what to say to that. ]
Just leave him out of it. He was making an ass out of himself for my sake, for some incomprehensible reason.
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:05 am (UTC)[ they've already kind of sniped at each other in private anyway so it's more or less a moot point. but she wants to reassure damian. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:06 am (UTC)And don't undermine me like that again.
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:08 am (UTC)[ if she sees him being a little shit again, she's gonna call him out. she'll just. do it more privately next time. ]
Are we... okay?
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:11 am (UTC)Like I said, you made it perfectly clear what you really think of me.
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:13 am (UTC)That's not--!
[ protesting probably won't help will it? and this is his decision. so kara just... slumps and looks away. she probably should've anticipated this, really. everyone always leaves at some point. he's just. doing it sooner than most. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:22 am (UTC)[ He looks sharply over his shoulder, his hands clenched so hard he can feel his nails even through the material of the gloves. ]
The first chance you had, you went for something you saw as a flaw and a weakness.
[ His palms are hot. Itchy. He doesn't notice, too angry, trying too hard not to see how badly he's hurting her with his words, because he's hurt and all he's ever known to do when that happens is to lash out. ]
Because all you actually see Bruce Wayne's difficult son, and I --
[ He doesn't get much further than that, because that's about when the fire eating the palms of his gloves spreads up his arms. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:26 am (UTC)Damian!
[ instinct has her up and rushing towards him, hands reaching to grab his-- ] Ow! [ right. no more super durability. kara ignores her palms smarting and starts talking fast. ]
I know you're pissed at me, and I'm not going to say you don't have a right to be right now, but I need you to breathe and calm down before you burn off all your clothes.
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:31 am (UTC)But it's not. The anger instantly changes to raw panic when she reaches for him, and he yanks his hands back, horrified as he burns her and is instantly back six years, when he was thirteen and too scared to go home without superpowers.
When he nearly killed Alfred in a fit of childish panic. ]
Don't touch me! [ She has a point, but - no, he's not going to let her burn herself. If there's one thing that's apparent, Damian Wayne sucks at hiding his feelings in a crisis. He's horrified. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:35 am (UTC)[ she has no idea that he's worried for her. in her mind, everyone sees her as the girl of steel first and foremost. even if she's powerless, a little fire is something she's supposed to be able to handle. ]
Just breathe, Damian. In for four, hold it, out for seven. This is part of you; you can control it.
[ these are things she's had said and taught to her. lessons she never thought she'd be passing on. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:39 am (UTC)[ It's panicked. He doesn't mean it - she's not an idiot, there's no venom there, just an impulse shouted in fear.
He takes a few steps back, tries to calm down. To remember how the hell he got a grip on his strength -- but that was different. That wasn't -- that wasn't fire. He rips off the jacket, throws it to the ground and tries to stomp out the fire.
It's not doing anything to put out the fire covering him from fingertip to forearm, but at least his clothes aren't burning anymore. ]
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Date: 2018-11-03 03:42 am (UTC)I'm not! I'm all the way over here. [ she takes a step back to prove her point. ] Now will you listen to me? I know a thing or two about dealing with new powers. Panicking is going to make it worse.
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