You want me to pick up your flaming heap of dogshit and do something with it? No, thanks. Leave it to burn out and go water the grass.
[ there's plenty of good left to do: you only kicked off because someone lit a spark. deal with the good stuff and, yes, Stephen will quietly add making sure Clarke doesn't go away feeling entirely like she's been chased off by a pack of rabid dogs to his to do list, but that's the only cleanup he can see needs covering. ]
he drops heavily onto one of the empty bunks and just STARTS TRYING TO HANDLE THINGS he gUESSES because this is his fucking life now and this is the exact opposite of what he wanted. ]
I am sick of people attacking me and then being reprimanded for standing up for myself.
it's frankly quite amazing how quickly his own temper can snap: stephen strange's mild fury is less the fire of damian's and more the refusal to deal with anybody else's problems in a sensitive manner
which is not great when that's exactly what he signed up to do today. ]
I'm sure you are. For future reference, a great way to avoid that would be to have your disputes privately so nobody else knows they're happening and any attempt to defend your honor isn't going to turn into to a turns-based game on who can look like the bigger asshole.
[ one breath? one breath.
he's angry because he himself had one job and that job was to prevent this exact thing from happening and he did it very badly and failure isn't his strong suit but instead of talking about that let's get on with being a BAD DAD ]
[ a sigh and Stephen's head goes the other way, raised to eyeball the ceiling. Damian's not off the mark: he did say all these things. it's just a shame that this'll knock him. everything else he's doing is going well. ]
You did. [ you told him. he concedes. it all happened as he said it would. and - ] And barely anybody else has paid the blindest bit of attention.
You're close to it, so it's all you can see. But there are already more people in the debate moving things on than there were involved in that conversation. The plan is fine. You're adapting with the changes as you always do, and that's why you were the right one for this job.
You'll see this through just fine. But if you need to take a break, take one. It'll be there when you go back to it.
[ He isn't sure how he wanted this to go, in all honesty. That he presents it, that people accept it, that someone - Strange or Manfred - take over and craft things accordingly. He didn't expect to still be holding any kind of responsibility -- or he did, and just sorely hoped he wouldn't.
He lets out a - a sound? A sigh? A grunt? Just a sharp, frustrated noise. ]
Clark would be able to talk to them, make his points clear. Not get bogged down in tone and wording choices, because even off the cuff he was charming and charismatic. Damian is neither of these things, and he's never figured out how to be.
But he knows he can't just step back. He can't not. ]
... It's fine. [ His voice is quieter. Between the anger Dick had shown him and Strange's frustration at how he'd handled this, he just feels raw. ] It's fine. I'll... I'll handle it.
Hey. [ and he waits, this time, for Damian to look at him. or for long enough to have passed to make it clear that he isn't going to. ]
You're not on your own. You're doing this part because you're good at it, I believe that just as much now as I did an hour ago, but if it's making you miserable you can stop whenever you need to. You've shared it. We're all going to have to take the reins eventually.
I don't have any interest in cleaning up your pile of flaming dogshit. [ if we say this out loud enough will it become funny and break the tension? ] It's happened, nothing I can do about that. It'll blow over in twenty minutes and nobody's going to remember it's happened by next week. And don't make me resend you the text where I told you you're doing this because you're suited to it.
[ a little huff out through his nose. ]
For someone who doesn't like Clarke much, you spend an awful lot of time making your day worse by listening to what she has to say.
[ clarke's word isn't gospel, damian. go and have a nap. ]
[ it's hard to hear. he didn't know damian as well around the time he died, and to think that that's something he's carrying with him - I had to die before I was seen to be decent - is...
well. it is what it is. without fully understanding the situation, it's difficult to even comment. all he can say is, ]
This will pass. We can't all get along with one another but I think you've both learned here. I doubt this will happen again. If it does, some of us will be better primed to intervene.
[ Stephen didn't have any recollection of the beef. perhaps if he had he may have been able to cut this off at the pass. prevent this aftermath. ]
[ he understands - it must be frustrating. to have predicted this, marched right into it, and to come out as singed as expected
but it's not as isolated a consequence as it could be. ]
Unfortunately, yes. You're in a position where you've got to correct your reputation at the same time as building a new one. People are going to remember the way you've been more keenly when you display those behaviors again.
But Clarke behaved poorly too. I've had the conversation with her, I'm sure others will have had. [ actually, "conversation" is saying too much. it was a blunt shut down and likely something else he'll have to apologise for his conduct in later. on which note - ] I've also gone down a few rungs in the estimations of a few people.
We're all stinging. It's worse for you, but it wasn't only you who made the bad calls here and everyone who's watching is well enough aware.
[ Are they? Damian doesn't say anything for a moment, because he doesn't think so. He's thinking to every other time someone took a snap at him, or Keith did, or someone else did.
Did anyone notice that, did they remember that? Would anyone remember this? It's stupid, and narcissistic to even think so, but born of all the guilt and insecurity he keeps bottled up.]
If it was because you spoke to her then they can get bent. [ He's spent enough to sound like a normal fucking teenager. ] Matches brought up her past behavior and she responded by dragging both Resnik and myself into it.
[ his own behavior is something he'll deal with later, not Damian's problem, so he leaves that first comment alone. ]
She did. She shouldn't have.
[ it was a game of musical launch-attacks-as-defenses, and it took a long long time for anybody to turn the music off. all that can be done now is to try and patch up some of the sorer spots. ]
[ of course he isn't over it. Stephen takes a breath - holds it, to think - and releases. ]
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
[ it's a double-edged sword of an apology, but he tries to keep the blade as blunt as he can: fact was, he thought Damian, with a little supervision, could avoid a fight and otherwise flourish. and in the end he was too busy picking his own fight to notice when the help was needed.
he let him down. it needs acknowledging by Stephen himself. ]
I encouraged you into walking into something you didn't want to take point on and I promised you help as part of the deal. I didn't deliver. This is as much on me as either of you.
[ did he have the fight? no. but without his insistence, this may not have happened in this configuration in the first place. and while he'll stand by that damian was the right one for the job, that he performed excellently in conversation with any and everyone else, this could've been avoided if he'd upheld his end.
Damian and Clarke have both experienced more than their share. they each have more experience in this kind of an area than he does.
but of the three of them, however early their lives might have forced them to grow up, only one is an adult. it was his job to mediate and he just didn't do it. "as much on me" if not more so - he'll take half, the kids can take a quarter each. ]
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You want me to pick up your flaming heap of dogshit and do something with it? No, thanks. Leave it to burn out and go water the grass.
[ there's plenty of good left to do: you only kicked off because someone lit a spark. deal with the good stuff and, yes, Stephen will quietly add making sure Clarke doesn't go away feeling entirely like she's been chased off by a pack of rabid dogs to his to do list, but that's the only cleanup he can see needs covering. ]
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he drops heavily onto one of the empty bunks and just STARTS TRYING TO HANDLE THINGS he gUESSES because this is his fucking life now and this is the exact opposite of what he wanted. ]
I am sick of people attacking me and then being reprimanded for standing up for myself.
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it's frankly quite amazing how quickly his own temper can snap: stephen strange's mild fury is less the fire of damian's and more the refusal to deal with anybody else's problems in a sensitive manner
which is not great when that's exactly what he signed up to do today. ]
I'm sure you are. For future reference, a great way to avoid that would be to have your disputes privately so nobody else knows they're happening and any attempt to defend your honor isn't going to turn into to a turns-based game on who can look like the bigger asshole.
[ one breath? one breath.
he's angry because he himself had one job and that job was to prevent this exact thing from happening and he did it very badly and failure isn't his strong suit but instead of talking about that let's get on with being a BAD DAD ]
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I have been trying!
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god, right. okay. come on, Strange, only one of you is the 42 year old who ought to know better here. ]
—I know. I'm sorry.
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I told you I didn't want to do this and I couldn't. I told you someone would do this, use me against the plan, and they did. I warned you.
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You did. [ you told him. he concedes. it all happened as he said it would. and - ] And barely anybody else has paid the blindest bit of attention.
You're close to it, so it's all you can see. But there are already more people in the debate moving things on than there were involved in that conversation. The plan is fine. You're adapting with the changes as you always do, and that's why you were the right one for this job.
You'll see this through just fine. But if you need to take a break, take one. It'll be there when you go back to it.
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He lets out a - a sound? A sigh? A grunt? Just a sharp, frustrated noise. ]
I don't want to be in charge of his.
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Clark would be able to talk to them, make his points clear. Not get bogged down in tone and wording choices, because even off the cuff he was charming and charismatic. Damian is neither of these things, and he's never figured out how to be.
But he knows he can't just step back. He can't not. ]
... It's fine. [ His voice is quieter. Between the anger Dick had shown him and Strange's frustration at how he'd handled this, he just feels raw. ] It's fine. I'll... I'll handle it.
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You're not on your own. You're doing this part because you're good at it, I believe that just as much now as I did an hour ago, but if it's making you miserable you can stop whenever you need to. You've shared it. We're all going to have to take the reins eventually.
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[ Low, bitter, annoyed. ]
If I stop, then it looks like I don't back it. Griffin made that clear.
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[ a little huff out through his nose. ]
For someone who doesn't like Clarke much, you spend an awful lot of time making your day worse by listening to what she has to say.
[ clarke's word isn't gospel, damian. go and have a nap. ]
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Those definitely aren't the only two options.
Right now, I want to rest if you need to. If not, fine. But you can step back whatever Clarke may have made clear. Nobody will begrudge you some time.
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... No. I'm fine.
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[ he still doesn't actually believe you ]
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He looks down at the floor. ]
... I had to die for Kogane to leave me alone and believe I was a decent person. I can't .. do that again.
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well. it is what it is. without fully understanding the situation, it's difficult to even comment. all he can say is, ]
This will pass. We can't all get along with one another but I think you've both learned here. I doubt this will happen again. If it does, some of us will be better primed to intervene.
[ Stephen didn't have any recollection of the beef. perhaps if he had he may have been able to cut this off at the pass. prevent this aftermath. ]
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[ Bitterly. ]
Every misstep I make is held over my head.
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but it's not as isolated a consequence as it could be. ]
Unfortunately, yes. You're in a position where you've got to correct your reputation at the same time as building a new one. People are going to remember the way you've been more keenly when you display those behaviors again.
But Clarke behaved poorly too. I've had the conversation with her, I'm sure others will have had. [ actually, "conversation" is saying too much. it was a blunt shut down and likely something else he'll have to apologise for his conduct in later. on which note - ] I've also gone down a few rungs in the estimations of a few people.
We're all stinging. It's worse for you, but it wasn't only you who made the bad calls here and everyone who's watching is well enough aware.
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Did anyone notice that, did they remember that? Would anyone remember this? It's stupid, and narcissistic to even think so, but born of all the guilt and insecurity he keeps bottled up.]
If it was because you spoke to her then they can get bent. [ He's spent enough to sound like a normal fucking teenager. ] Matches brought up her past behavior and she responded by dragging both Resnik and myself into it.
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She did. She shouldn't have.
[ it was a game of musical launch-attacks-as-defenses, and it took a long long time for anybody to turn the music off. all that can be done now is to try and patch up some of the sorer spots. ]
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Whatever.
[ He's not over it. It smarts in all the worst ways. ]
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For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
[ it's a double-edged sword of an apology, but he tries to keep the blade as blunt as he can: fact was, he thought Damian, with a little supervision, could avoid a fight and otherwise flourish. and in the end he was too busy picking his own fight to notice when the help was needed.
he let him down. it needs acknowledging by Stephen himself. ]
I encouraged you into walking into something you didn't want to take point on and I promised you help as part of the deal. I didn't deliver. This is as much on me as either of you.
[ did he have the fight? no. but without his insistence, this may not have happened in this configuration in the first place. and while he'll stand by that damian was the right one for the job, that he performed excellently in conversation with any and everyone else, this could've been avoided if he'd upheld his end.
Damian and Clarke have both experienced more than their share. they each have more experience in this kind of an area than he does.
but of the three of them, however early their lives might have forced them to grow up, only one is an adult. it was his job to mediate and he just didn't do it. "as much on me" if not more so - he'll take half, the kids can take a quarter each. ]
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