[ He opens his mouth - clearly about to shout, because her actions rub up against the raw spot the dreams have left him with.
Instead he snaps his mouth shut, teeth clicking, curls his fists and holds them as tightly as he can until he can manage something at a reasonable level.
With one person. One person you don't like rubbed you the wrong way. It's fine.
[ it's unfortunate but if anything it's left Clarke in the worse light. she may have kept her head a little better but they both went in. Clarke on more than just Damian.
Stephen, in direct opposition, is the picture of calm. this is the role he signed up for, he'll not let him slip now. ]
All Griffin has done since I've met her is try to tear me down and pass it off as though it's for the good of the people. Am I not supposed to fight back?
[ it's - blunt. he's active on all fronts. talking with Damian here, now. catching up on the conversation. talking with Clarke privately there.
it's a fucking mess. of course damian's angry. but he's right. this is exactly what he warned him about. and, therefore, exactly what Stephen warned him against in turn. ]
Look at the rest of the responses. People eager to get involved, newer people glad for the concept. You're wasting your time. And the tearing down you think she's trying to do, you're doing for yourself. It's a mess of miscommunications and it's up to you if you want to keep feeding it but you're not going to look any better by squabbling.
You want me to pick up your flaming heap of dogshit and do something with it? No, thanks. Leave it to burn out and go water the grass.
[ there's plenty of good left to do: you only kicked off because someone lit a spark. deal with the good stuff and, yes, Stephen will quietly add making sure Clarke doesn't go away feeling entirely like she's been chased off by a pack of rabid dogs to his to do list, but that's the only cleanup he can see needs covering. ]
he drops heavily onto one of the empty bunks and just STARTS TRYING TO HANDLE THINGS he gUESSES because this is his fucking life now and this is the exact opposite of what he wanted. ]
I am sick of people attacking me and then being reprimanded for standing up for myself.
it's frankly quite amazing how quickly his own temper can snap: stephen strange's mild fury is less the fire of damian's and more the refusal to deal with anybody else's problems in a sensitive manner
which is not great when that's exactly what he signed up to do today. ]
I'm sure you are. For future reference, a great way to avoid that would be to have your disputes privately so nobody else knows they're happening and any attempt to defend your honor isn't going to turn into to a turns-based game on who can look like the bigger asshole.
[ one breath? one breath.
he's angry because he himself had one job and that job was to prevent this exact thing from happening and he did it very badly and failure isn't his strong suit but instead of talking about that let's get on with being a BAD DAD ]
[ a sigh and Stephen's head goes the other way, raised to eyeball the ceiling. Damian's not off the mark: he did say all these things. it's just a shame that this'll knock him. everything else he's doing is going well. ]
You did. [ you told him. he concedes. it all happened as he said it would. and - ] And barely anybody else has paid the blindest bit of attention.
You're close to it, so it's all you can see. But there are already more people in the debate moving things on than there were involved in that conversation. The plan is fine. You're adapting with the changes as you always do, and that's why you were the right one for this job.
You'll see this through just fine. But if you need to take a break, take one. It'll be there when you go back to it.
[ He isn't sure how he wanted this to go, in all honesty. That he presents it, that people accept it, that someone - Strange or Manfred - take over and craft things accordingly. He didn't expect to still be holding any kind of responsibility -- or he did, and just sorely hoped he wouldn't.
He lets out a - a sound? A sigh? A grunt? Just a sharp, frustrated noise. ]
Clark would be able to talk to them, make his points clear. Not get bogged down in tone and wording choices, because even off the cuff he was charming and charismatic. Damian is neither of these things, and he's never figured out how to be.
But he knows he can't just step back. He can't not. ]
... It's fine. [ His voice is quieter. Between the anger Dick had shown him and Strange's frustration at how he'd handled this, he just feels raw. ] It's fine. I'll... I'll handle it.
Hey. [ and he waits, this time, for Damian to look at him. or for long enough to have passed to make it clear that he isn't going to. ]
You're not on your own. You're doing this part because you're good at it, I believe that just as much now as I did an hour ago, but if it's making you miserable you can stop whenever you need to. You've shared it. We're all going to have to take the reins eventually.
I don't have any interest in cleaning up your pile of flaming dogshit. [ if we say this out loud enough will it become funny and break the tension? ] It's happened, nothing I can do about that. It'll blow over in twenty minutes and nobody's going to remember it's happened by next week. And don't make me resend you the text where I told you you're doing this because you're suited to it.
[ a little huff out through his nose. ]
For someone who doesn't like Clarke much, you spend an awful lot of time making your day worse by listening to what she has to say.
[ clarke's word isn't gospel, damian. go and have a nap. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Instead he snaps his mouth shut, teeth clicking, curls his fists and holds them as tightly as he can until he can manage something at a reasonable level.
His nails are biting through his palms. ]
I... told you this would happen.
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[ it's unfortunate but if anything it's left Clarke in the worse light. she may have kept her head a little better but they both went in. Clarke on more than just Damian.
Stephen, in direct opposition, is the picture of calm. this is the role he signed up for, he'll not let him slip now. ]
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[ Damian whirls on him, jaw set. ]
All Griffin has done since I've met her is try to tear me down and pass it off as though it's for the good of the people. Am I not supposed to fight back?
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[ it's - blunt. he's active on all fronts. talking with Damian here, now. catching up on the conversation. talking with Clarke privately there.
it's a fucking mess. of course damian's angry. but he's right. this is exactly what he warned him about. and, therefore, exactly what Stephen warned him against in turn. ]
Look at the rest of the responses. People eager to get involved, newer people glad for the concept. You're wasting your time. And the tearing down you think she's trying to do, you're doing for yourself. It's a mess of miscommunications and it's up to you if you want to keep feeding it but you're not going to look any better by squabbling.
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Fine. Just - fuck - fine.
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[ that's all there is to say. ]
If you're finished with derailing yourself, you were in the middle of doing a very good job. I'd suggest you get back to that.
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I think you should handle it from here. [ Not... that he expects that to work. ]
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You want me to pick up your flaming heap of dogshit and do something with it? No, thanks. Leave it to burn out and go water the grass.
[ there's plenty of good left to do: you only kicked off because someone lit a spark. deal with the good stuff and, yes, Stephen will quietly add making sure Clarke doesn't go away feeling entirely like she's been chased off by a pack of rabid dogs to his to do list, but that's the only cleanup he can see needs covering. ]
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he drops heavily onto one of the empty bunks and just STARTS TRYING TO HANDLE THINGS he gUESSES because this is his fucking life now and this is the exact opposite of what he wanted. ]
I am sick of people attacking me and then being reprimanded for standing up for myself.
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it's frankly quite amazing how quickly his own temper can snap: stephen strange's mild fury is less the fire of damian's and more the refusal to deal with anybody else's problems in a sensitive manner
which is not great when that's exactly what he signed up to do today. ]
I'm sure you are. For future reference, a great way to avoid that would be to have your disputes privately so nobody else knows they're happening and any attempt to defend your honor isn't going to turn into to a turns-based game on who can look like the bigger asshole.
[ one breath? one breath.
he's angry because he himself had one job and that job was to prevent this exact thing from happening and he did it very badly and failure isn't his strong suit but instead of talking about that let's get on with being a BAD DAD ]
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I have been trying!
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god, right. okay. come on, Strange, only one of you is the 42 year old who ought to know better here. ]
—I know. I'm sorry.
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I told you I didn't want to do this and I couldn't. I told you someone would do this, use me against the plan, and they did. I warned you.
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You did. [ you told him. he concedes. it all happened as he said it would. and - ] And barely anybody else has paid the blindest bit of attention.
You're close to it, so it's all you can see. But there are already more people in the debate moving things on than there were involved in that conversation. The plan is fine. You're adapting with the changes as you always do, and that's why you were the right one for this job.
You'll see this through just fine. But if you need to take a break, take one. It'll be there when you go back to it.
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He lets out a - a sound? A sigh? A grunt? Just a sharp, frustrated noise. ]
I don't want to be in charge of his.
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Clark would be able to talk to them, make his points clear. Not get bogged down in tone and wording choices, because even off the cuff he was charming and charismatic. Damian is neither of these things, and he's never figured out how to be.
But he knows he can't just step back. He can't not. ]
... It's fine. [ His voice is quieter. Between the anger Dick had shown him and Strange's frustration at how he'd handled this, he just feels raw. ] It's fine. I'll... I'll handle it.
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You're not on your own. You're doing this part because you're good at it, I believe that just as much now as I did an hour ago, but if it's making you miserable you can stop whenever you need to. You've shared it. We're all going to have to take the reins eventually.
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[ Low, bitter, annoyed. ]
If I stop, then it looks like I don't back it. Griffin made that clear.
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[ a little huff out through his nose. ]
For someone who doesn't like Clarke much, you spend an awful lot of time making your day worse by listening to what she has to say.
[ clarke's word isn't gospel, damian. go and have a nap. ]
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Those definitely aren't the only two options.
Right now, I want to rest if you need to. If not, fine. But you can step back whatever Clarke may have made clear. Nobody will begrudge you some time.
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... No. I'm fine.
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[ he still doesn't actually believe you ]
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He looks down at the floor. ]
... I had to die for Kogane to leave me alone and believe I was a decent person. I can't .. do that again.
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