Um. [ there's a long, awkward pause where kara bites her lip and kind of fidgets with the hem of damian's shirt. clearly nervous and out of sorts herself. because there's no good way to say this. ]
Sex! [ oh god. oh no, she just said that. ] Is something people do. In relationships. And, uh. I don't want to... Move too fast? Or... too slow? And accidentally mess things up.
[ she groans and then hides her face in damian's back. ] Oh Rao, never mind. Let's pretend I never said anything.
It's not like he... hasn't thought about it. He's good at compartmentalizing feelings and not dealing with them, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have them. But she sure just said that and...
And wow. ]
Uh... [ Jesus. Get it together. ] No, you're - right. That's something people in relationships... have. [ because this is a relationship and they're having it. one. a relationship, not sex. ]
Look, I've only had one real relationship before this, and he was... [ rao, how does she put this? ] Let's call it pushy. And I kicked his ass halfway across the galaxy because he turned out to be a gigantic douche.
[ she pulls her face out of his shoulder and gently knocks her temple against the side of his head. ]
But you're not, and I don't know how this goes, and I just want to do the whole relationship thing right. With respect and boundaries and maybe, at some point, something more than just kissing?
[ If he's ever realized he's well and truly not the sum of his parents, now is the time. He's certain neither of them have ever had to have this conversation, or felt this unsure of what to do and what is or isn't appropriate.
Which, actually, if they had it might have solved a lot of their problems. And also he definitely wouldn't exist.
He covers one of her hands with his, aware that he's flushed a bright red and can't quite meet her gaze, so he doesn't turn to face her. ]
[ she kind of guessed at much, but. it's nice that he's coming right out and saying it. not posturing or anything. ]
Me neither. Not beyond, like, making out with the douchey ex.
[ she wasn't in a good place after that. and then it was another bad place mentally, and then new krypton happened, and then, and then, and then... it's just been easier to not try and get attached to someone that way, even if she's found herself envious of the people she knows with steady relationships. and casual is a little hard to do when you have occasionally wavering control of your super strength. ]
[ ah. she's really just laying it out there, isn't she?
he shifts uncomfortably. still not good at vocalizing his own needs or wants. still afraid to want anything here, especially with the massive losses that he's had recently. that would be getting attached.
but he likes her a lot. they're in close proximity all the time. and she's - well, she's beautiful.]
[ getting things right is more important to her than she tries to let on. it's easier here, in new amsterdam, to not hold herself to impossible standards for certain things. how she should act around everyone, secret identities, certain parts of the moral code that come with wearing her family crest...
but this? this is important in a way that's different to anything else. and the idea of screwing it up terrifies her. ]
I think maybe getting it right means just letting things evolve naturally but maybe with some checking in? So we don't accidentally step on each other.
More and more he's been faced with his shortcomings. His refusal to let people in, his refusal to communicate when he needs help. He can't -- keep being that person. ]
Okay.
[ Wait, that sounds like he's just being resigned to it. That's not what he means. He turns around to face her, cautiously taking her hands in his. ]
I won't force you to do anything you don't want to, or aren't ready for... and I'll be transparent with my own feelings.
[ kara smiles at him, a little shy and red-cheeked. she's been blunt in this whole conversation because she feels like it's the only way she could get through it, and it's a conversation they probably needed to have. ]
I'm not asking for miracles. [ and she knows he keeps things to himself. can't always ask for help. she squeezes his hands. ] Just let me know if I mess up, okay? And I'll do the same for you.
[ maybe it's cliche to think it, but his words take her breath away. they hit her right in the heart, making ache with overflowing feelings that she doesn't quite know how to express or contain.
kara leans up and kisses him. lets the blue glow in her chest carry over what it can and hopes that damian can make some sense out of it. she's honored that he thinks that, and overwhelmed by it, and she loves him in that moment, so much so that she feels fit to burst with it. she wants to hold him close and protect him and never let him go because he is so very precious and has just absolutely floored her. ]
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Sex! [ oh god. oh no, she just said that. ] Is something people do. In relationships. And, uh. I don't want to... Move too fast? Or... too slow? And accidentally mess things up.
[ she groans and then hides her face in damian's back. ] Oh Rao, never mind. Let's pretend I never said anything.
no subject
[ Oh.
It's not like he... hasn't thought about it. He's good at compartmentalizing feelings and not dealing with them, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have them. But she sure just said that and...
And wow. ]
Uh... [ Jesus. Get it together. ] No, you're - right. That's something people in relationships... have. [ because this is a relationship and they're having it. one. a relationship, not sex. ]
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Look, I've only had one real relationship before this, and he was... [ rao, how does she put this? ] Let's call it pushy. And I kicked his ass halfway across the galaxy because he turned out to be a gigantic douche.
[ she pulls her face out of his shoulder and gently knocks her temple against the side of his head. ]
But you're not, and I don't know how this goes, and I just want to do the whole relationship thing right. With respect and boundaries and maybe, at some point, something more than just kissing?
no subject
Which, actually, if they had it might have solved a lot of their problems. And also he definitely wouldn't exist.
He covers one of her hands with his, aware that he's flushed a bright red and can't quite meet her gaze, so he doesn't turn to face her. ]
I've... [ ... ] never done any of this before.
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Me neither. Not beyond, like, making out with the douchey ex.
[ she wasn't in a good place after that. and then it was another bad place mentally, and then new krypton happened, and then, and then, and then... it's just been easier to not try and get attached to someone that way, even if she's found herself envious of the people she knows with steady relationships. and casual is a little hard to do when you have occasionally wavering control of your super strength. ]
Do you... want to? At some point?
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he shifts uncomfortably. still not good at vocalizing his own needs or wants. still afraid to want anything here, especially with the massive losses that he's had recently. that would be getting attached.
but he likes her a lot. they're in close proximity all the time. and she's - well, she's beautiful.]
Yes. [ ... ] I just want us to do this right.
no subject
[ getting things right is more important to her than she tries to let on. it's easier here, in new amsterdam, to not hold herself to impossible standards for certain things. how she should act around everyone, secret identities, certain parts of the moral code that come with wearing her family crest...
but this? this is important in a way that's different to anything else. and the idea of screwing it up terrifies her. ]
I think maybe getting it right means just letting things evolve naturally but maybe with some checking in? So we don't accidentally step on each other.
no subject
More and more he's been faced with his shortcomings. His refusal to let people in, his refusal to communicate when he needs help. He can't -- keep being that person. ]
Okay.
[ Wait, that sounds like he's just being resigned to it. That's not what he means. He turns around to face her, cautiously taking her hands in his. ]
I won't force you to do anything you don't want to, or aren't ready for... and I'll be transparent with my own feelings.
[ a beat. ]
As much as I can be.
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I'm not asking for miracles. [ and she knows he keeps things to himself. can't always ask for help. she squeezes his hands. ] Just let me know if I mess up, okay? And I'll do the same for you.
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[ He hesitates, briefly. Then brings her hands up to his lips to press a kiss to them, soft and full of affection. ]
I'm counting on you to keep me honest.
[ You inspire me to be a better person. ]
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Okay.
[ she rests her forehead against his and pulls one hand out of his grasp so she can fluff a bit of his hair. ]
Being here has had it's ups and downs and terrifying moments, but being with you is probably the best thing to happen to me in a long time.
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If they're going to have this raw, emotional talk about how they're feeling and what their comfort levels are, he feels like he should be honest. ]
... I forgot what it was like to hope.
[ ... ]
Then when I saw you -- heard you that day -- I remembered. You made me remember why I wanted to be a hero.
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kara leans up and kisses him. lets the blue glow in her chest carry over what it can and hopes that damian can make some sense out of it. she's honored that he thinks that, and overwhelmed by it, and she loves him in that moment, so much so that she feels fit to burst with it. she wants to hold him close and protect him and never let him go because he is so very precious and has just absolutely floored her. ]