Griffin has experience with survival, but she doesn't have experience with this kind of survival. What it means to be superhuman and the weight that comes with the decision to use your powers. [ Neither does he, honestly, not without artificial means. ] We have basic amenities covered. No one is currently starving - but we don't have answers. Morningstar has enemies that we haven't inherited - yet. We will if we continue to assist them, that's not just a paranoid assumption, that's certainty. Unless the UNA themselves are responsible for us, which has a different danger altogether.
We aren't in danger now, but we're in potential danger. Why is being prepared for that wrong?
[ He's trying to puzzle this out as he talked, figure out where he went wrong. If he's wrong. ]
My team was scarcely thirty people at its largest. But we had all of this handled. We came from all walks of life - different countries, different planets, different timelines - and we handled all of this. We had specialized groups for tasks. Different squads to handle different problems as they came up. What those of us who didn't fight didn't do, we delegated to other people. We kept the machine running. And it was voluntary. There was no demand to be there. Being a hero has more to do with than just powers, I never had any and I was still one, and everything to do with wanting to protect...
[ your friends. the world. he doesn't know how to finish that sentence, so he just doesn't. ]
But here, with almost twice that number, we're a disorganized mess as a group. If you don't want to call us a people, then don't - whatever you want to call us, we're not working together, and to say that it's because we've got different origins and priorities is ignorant at best and selfish at worse. That's saying you can't work with someone for something arbitrary and you won't make the effort to try - and coming from me that should say something. Morningstar is an organization that's going to have its own set of needs and priorities altogether and existed beyond us, meaning you're signing on to something beyond you and wearing that name and label. Regardless of what they might be doing where you can't see.
[ He's been that unseen hand in the dark. Deftly taking lives before they have the chance to become threats. Razing cities to the ground for the benefit of another's bottom line. He's watched rebellions tear countries to pieces as both sides forgot the people standing between them, crushing them like grass underfoot.
He doesn't want that. ]
Griffin is right that we need to come up with basic code of conduct, but what is the point if doing that if we're not anything more than people who share a stupid origin story? There are things people aren't going to agree on - killing or not killing is going to be a sticking point. If they're put in a position to kill or be killed, is the death going to take precedence over circumstances? I advocated for cutting potential risks off if they're murderers without knowing the context for why they did it - that was clearly wrong, that was made clear. But if I'm put in the same situation and I kill to protect myself or someone else, am I going to be tossed out for not finding a way to shake hands and walk off? If there's a code of conduct, who the hell is going to be enforcing it? If Griffin does, then my experiences and concerns are going to be worthless because they'll be dismissed because they don't match with hers. How are we going to deal with people who break it? Kill them? Strip their network access and hope they don't run to our enemies? We have no structure in place, we have no understanding, and coming up with a pretty little list of rules is only going to alienate the people who want nothing to do with them or the people spouting them. If we're not connected to each other then we have no reason to obey but fear of being thrown out, and that fear will only lead to paranoia.
[ A pause, a breath. ]
There's no trust or loyalty there, just minding the damn lines, and it sure as hell doesn't build trust to feel like you're one bad move from being thrown out. It makes you pissed off and resentful of a power structure you had nothing to do with creating and no power to influence. If you start out not falling neatly within this code, then you're already at a disadvantage that's difficult to recover from. That's how my father ran things, and Griffin is too much like my father for me to trust that she won't try to use laws and regulations things the same way he did. She has already shown herself to be vindictive and manipulative, all the while claiming to be doing it for the good of the people.
I'm not much better, but I'm willing to set my beliefs aside if it means gaining consensus and working on our problems. I know what I want and I think we need but that's not going to happen and what I presented to you and Markus isn't even what I want or what I think the best solution is for steering this godforsaken ship, I just don't think things are okay because I have a psycho who subconsciously wants to feed my siblings to her dog breathing down my neck and questions I don't even know how to begin answering, and gaps in security and weaknesses I see all over what we're doing. But bringing it up seems to damage the egos and sensibilities of every god damn person I thought was sensible, because all I heard was people fixating on word choices and deliberately missing my fucking point. They keep saying we band together well in an emergency - why are we so incapable of doing so outside of one? Why are we waiting for Gaby and El to spur us into action when we could be doing so ourselves?
[ He throws a hand up. ]
Our group is too unstable create isolated teams and groups. Could just say let them all burn and make my own, but there's guarantee that the whole team would still be there the next day. We'd lose work. We'd lose info. We'd lose progress and we can't afford that. People die, sure, but there are people to replace them - this is the contingency for that, involving everyone so we're not left up shit creek if we wake up and find half our number gone. So I either make this work, or we continue to flounder as a collective and waste valuable power and influence.
But I'm an asshole so everything I say falls on deaf ears.
no subject
Griffin has experience with survival, but she doesn't have experience with this kind of survival. What it means to be superhuman and the weight that comes with the decision to use your powers. [ Neither does he, honestly, not without artificial means. ] We have basic amenities covered. No one is currently starving - but we don't have answers. Morningstar has enemies that we haven't inherited - yet. We will if we continue to assist them, that's not just a paranoid assumption, that's certainty. Unless the UNA themselves are responsible for us, which has a different danger altogether.
We aren't in danger now, but we're in potential danger. Why is being prepared for that wrong?
[ He's trying to puzzle this out as he talked, figure out where he went wrong. If he's wrong. ]
My team was scarcely thirty people at its largest. But we had all of this handled. We came from all walks of life - different countries, different planets, different timelines - and we handled all of this. We had specialized groups for tasks. Different squads to handle different problems as they came up. What those of us who didn't fight didn't do, we delegated to other people. We kept the machine running. And it was voluntary. There was no demand to be there. Being a hero has more to do with than just powers, I never had any and I was still one, and everything to do with wanting to protect...
[ your friends. the world. he doesn't know how to finish that sentence, so he just doesn't. ]
But here, with almost twice that number, we're a disorganized mess as a group. If you don't want to call us a people, then don't - whatever you want to call us, we're not working together, and to say that it's because we've got different origins and priorities is ignorant at best and selfish at worse. That's saying you can't work with someone for something arbitrary and you won't make the effort to try - and coming from me that should say something. Morningstar is an organization that's going to have its own set of needs and priorities altogether and existed beyond us, meaning you're signing on to something beyond you and wearing that name and label. Regardless of what they might be doing where you can't see.
[ He's been that unseen hand in the dark. Deftly taking lives before they have the chance to become threats. Razing cities to the ground for the benefit of another's bottom line. He's watched rebellions tear countries to pieces as both sides forgot the people standing between them, crushing them like grass underfoot.
He doesn't want that. ]
Griffin is right that we need to come up with basic code of conduct, but what is the point if doing that if we're not anything more than people who share a stupid origin story? There are things people aren't going to agree on - killing or not killing is going to be a sticking point. If they're put in a position to kill or be killed, is the death going to take precedence over circumstances? I advocated for cutting potential risks off if they're murderers without knowing the context for why they did it - that was clearly wrong, that was made clear. But if I'm put in the same situation and I kill to protect myself or someone else, am I going to be tossed out for not finding a way to shake hands and walk off? If there's a code of conduct, who the hell is going to be enforcing it? If Griffin does, then my experiences and concerns are going to be worthless because they'll be dismissed because they don't match with hers. How are we going to deal with people who break it? Kill them? Strip their network access and hope they don't run to our enemies? We have no structure in place, we have no understanding, and coming up with a pretty little list of rules is only going to alienate the people who want nothing to do with them or the people spouting them. If we're not connected to each other then we have no reason to obey but fear of being thrown out, and that fear will only lead to paranoia.
[ A pause, a breath. ]
There's no trust or loyalty there, just minding the damn lines, and it sure as hell doesn't build trust to feel like you're one bad move from being thrown out. It makes you pissed off and resentful of a power structure you had nothing to do with creating and no power to influence. If you start out not falling neatly within this code, then you're already at a disadvantage that's difficult to recover from. That's how my father ran things, and Griffin is too much like my father for me to trust that she won't try to use laws and regulations things the same way he did. She has already shown herself to be vindictive and manipulative, all the while claiming to be doing it for the good of the people.
I'm not much better, but I'm willing to set my beliefs aside if it means gaining consensus and working on our problems. I know what I want and I think we need but that's not going to happen and what I presented to you and Markus isn't even what I want or what I think the best solution is for steering this godforsaken ship, I just don't think things are okay because I have a psycho who subconsciously wants to feed my siblings to her dog breathing down my neck and questions I don't even know how to begin answering, and gaps in security and weaknesses I see all over what we're doing. But bringing it up seems to damage the egos and sensibilities of every god damn person I thought was sensible, because all I heard was people fixating on word choices and deliberately missing my fucking point. They keep saying we band together well in an emergency - why are we so incapable of doing so outside of one? Why are we waiting for Gaby and El to spur us into action when we could be doing so ourselves?
[ He throws a hand up. ]
Our group is too unstable create isolated teams and groups. Could just say let them all burn and make my own, but there's guarantee that the whole team would still be there the next day. We'd lose work. We'd lose info. We'd lose progress and we can't afford that. People die, sure, but there are people to replace them - this is the contingency for that, involving everyone so we're not left up shit creek if we wake up and find half our number gone. So I either make this work, or we continue to flounder as a collective and waste valuable power and influence.
But I'm an asshole so everything I say falls on deaf ears.